Sunday, August 30, 2009

Running in the Dark: ASKING in Prayer

I haven't blogged in SO long! But today something happened to me that I really must share!
I got up at 5:00 a.m. this morning with hopes of reading the Bible, praying, and then jogging - all before having to get the whole family ready for church. Well, I kept reading and praying as I waited for the sun to come up, because I wanted to drive to the park and jog. But kept getting later and later - and it was still dark. The thought of jogging in the dark was - quite frankly - a little scary! So I began praying about my plans...asking God if I should go jog or just stay home. He answered me so clearly in Scripture, I knew for sure He wanted to go! It was a verse in Song of Solomon in which the Lover tells His Beloved to get up and come with Him! Now, looking back, I am so very glad I did!
As I drove to the park, I noted just how dark it was. I wondered again if this was even a good idea. What if I got hurt? What if somebody attacks me? Who would be around to help me?..etc... For a moment I thought about how nice it would be if a policeman might just HAPPEN to be there so he could watch out for me. I then considered praying and asking God if He'd send a policeman. But it seemed like too much to ask, so I just dismissed the whole silly notion.
Well, I got there around 5:50, and just as you might imagine, nobody was there. It was still very dark. There were some lights on, but some were burned out. I started jogging in the dark. About 15 minutes later I was startled to look up and find that there was somebody else on the track! There was just enough light for me to see what appeared to be an older man, and he was walking. I kept jogging - and as I passed him, I looked over at him to see if it might be somebody I knew (and if he looked like a "bad guy" or not!). Well, guess who it was?! It was a policeman! He used to be our chief of police here in Springville! As soon as I saw his face, I knew what God had done! I began to laugh and smile and run like the wind! I ended up running two full miles - without a break (not my usual routine), and I don't remember even one time hearing my usual heavy breathing or racing heart!!!
See, God has been teaching me some new lessons on prayer. One of my recent lessons has been that there are some things we won't receive unless we ASK. And on my way to the park, I did NOT ask. My reasoning was that it was "too much to ask." Now I have the stark awareness that there is no such thing as "too much to ask" with our Almighty God! I also have a better understanding of what He means in Ephesians 3:20-21 when He reminds us that He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ASK or IMAGINE!! See, I'd IMAGINED it, but didn't go through with asking. Yet, He did it! And He didn't just send a policeman - He did more than that. He send the CHIEF!
The chief was only there for one short lap, and then he was gone...just as mysteriously as he'd appeared - Just long enough for God to make His point. The rest of the time I just trusted that whether or not God sent me a policeman, He knows my thoughts and hears my prayers. He Himself is with me to take care of my needs. Nothing is too much to ask...

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Fire: Part 2

After a day or so with our very gracious neighbors, the insurance company placed all of us in a temporary, furnished apartment until they could find us a more permanent place to stay. It was kind of comforting to me that we were all together in that little place. It just felt safe a secure with 3 other adults there with me and the 3 children. We put a little portable crib in our room for Tyler, and attempted to get some sleep. At some point in the night, however, I woke up to the smell of smoke! I immediately jumped up with the intentions of saving my baby, and when I looked toward his bed, I saw flames...it looked like the curtains were on fire! I woke Chris up in a panic - only to discover there were no flames...not even any smoke! I was so confused! Had I dreamed it? Imagined it? For the next couple of nights, I continued to wake up to the smell of smoke. I would wake up Chris and ask, "Do you smell smoke?" He'd respond (usually with patience...but not always), "No, Tina. There's no smoke. Go back to sleep."
Well, eventually Monday came - and all the other adults had to go back to work. Tyler and I were alone for the very first time since the fire. Suddenly I was overcome with fear - but not just normal fear - this was irrational fear. See, over the weekend we learned that somebody had set the house on fire ON PURPOSE! They'd even used certain chemicals to cause the fire to burn hotter and faster. There were several cars in the driveway that night. It was obvious that there were people inside. It seemed obvious that whoever started that fire had done so with the intentions of killing us. That thought was suddenly consuming me! All I could think about was that if somebody had tried to kill us - and had not succeeded, then they were probably STILL trying to kill us. So, my first thought was that I should leave and go to a public place. That even became a problem, though, because there was a closet near the front door. I was convinced that there was somebody hiding in that closet just waiting to take my life. I was afraid to walk by that closet to get out of the apartment! I finally ran past it in tears and made it to my car. Once inside my car, a new fear siezed me. I wondered if "they" had wired my car with explosives - "What if it explodes when I start it?" I felt paralyzed! I was beginning to recognize just how irrational I was being, yet at the same time unable to overcome the fear. This type of fear continued in my life for weeks on end. Every night I smelled smoke...again and again. I have to admit now, that I had neither prayed nor read the Bible since the fire. This was not normal for me. Honestly, I had lost my Bible in the fire. But the real reason was I didn't want to face God. Strangely, I'd been telling people how He'd saved our lives and about all the miracles we'd seen. Yet, I was afraid to draw near to Him. It's no coincidence that a dear friend gave me a Bible and a devotion book. I didn't open that Bible for days...but I thought the devotional would be a little "safer." I mean, it was a couples devotional. It was about marriage...not crazy fears! So, I opened it to whatever page had that day's date on it - and the Bible verse for that day was Psalm 27:1, which says, "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?" I was so shocked that God was speaking to me so directly that I was startled and immediately slammed the book shut and dropped it! Well, several days passed before I got up the nerve to open that book again. So, just like the last time I opened it to the page with that day's date on it. This time the verse at the top of the page was 2 Timothy 1:7, which says, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of love, of power, and of a sound mind." My reaction was the same - I slammed it shut and dropped it! Finally, may days later I tried a third time. This time the verse simply said, "Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). This time God's Word pierced my heart! Why had I been doubting HIM? He is GOD! And after all He'd done to prove His power and strength to me, I was still afraid...still doubting Him...still not trusting Him. Suddenly I came to my senses! Oh the freedom and peace that came from surrendering my fears to Him. I slept much better from then on! God's Word is that powerful! God used it to deliver me from my overwhelming fears. The next Sunday we went to church and we sang Amazing Grace. That's always been a special song to me - but this time the lyrics seemed even more beautiful.
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I am found, was blind, but now I see.
Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved,
Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Our House Fire: Part One

About 10 years ago my family had a house fire. It was an experience that truly changed my life, because although I already loved God very much – I’d failed to realize just how powerful He really is! He certainly allowed us to witness His power and love through that fire.
We were staying with my father-in-law at the time. We’d only been there two weeks. But he let us move in with him while we were building our house. So all of his belongings AND all of our belongings were in that house. My father-in-law happens to be a “workaholic”-type and has always worked from 5 a.m. until about 6 or 7 p.m. This particular week, however, he was on the midnight shift. As if that weren’t unusual enough, when we went to bed at about 10:30 that night, he couldn’t decide whether or not he was going to go work. We asked him why he was thinking about staying home, and he didn’t really have a reason…he was thinking about SKIPPING work…this workaholic man was considering skipping work! Little did we know, God was working out His perfect plan to save our lives. Sure enough, Mike did call in instead of going to work. At about midnight, as he was getting into bed he noticed what appeared to be flashing lights outside of his bedroom window. He thought perhaps the neighbors had called an ambulance for some reason, so he went to look outside. That’s when he realized that there was no ambulance – instead the front of his house (all wood) was on fire! So, he immediately threw his pants on, woke us up, and told us to get out of the house. Had he not been there and discovered that fire at that very moment, we would not have lived. We had to go down the stairs and then out the back door, because the front of the house was in full flames. I was the last person to step across the threshold of that back door – and up until then, the fire/flames remained on the outside of the house. But as soon as my feet were through that back door, that wall of flames came crashing through the windows and immediately began spreading throughout the house. Within a couple of minutes, we stood back and watched as flames literally BELLOWED out of our little baby boy’s bedroom window. We already could see that God had kept my father-in-law home that night and allowed him to discover the fire at just the right moment…so He could save ours lives and show us His power. But this was only the beginning.
The neighbor family asked us to come inside. See, my sister-in-law and I were outside in the cold air in nothing but a t-shirt! I remember that the wife told us she’d go to her room and try to find some clothes for us. Well, my sister-in-law was about a size 1 and I was about a 10 or 12. So, I remember thinking, “She might have clothes to fit ONE of us…but there’s NO way this lady’s going to find something for BOTH of us…” Well, she DID! Then they began to tell us that they had shoes to fit all of us…(4 adults and 3 children). Guess why? For many years their family had owned a shoe store, but shortly before that night, they’d gone out of business. So, God provided shoes for all of us IMMEDIATELY! My sister-in-law had some friends who came to get her and her children, but we had nowhere to go and nobody to even call for help. We were homeless and helpless really. So, the neighbor family asked us to stay with them for the rest of the night. (Keep in mind, the fire fighters were still working on getting the fire under control just across the road.) I remember thinking that these people were considerably older…like in their 60’s probably. So, I figured there was no way they’d have a baby bed for my son to sleep in or anything like that. Well, boy was I wrong AGAIN! It turned out that one of their adult children had a “surprise” pregnancy and the baby had been born just 3 months ago! So, these proud grandparents were so excited, that they turned one of their bedrooms into the most beautiful nursery you’ve ever seen! They offered to let our baby sleep in there! Then, as a mommy, I started thinking about all the things my baby needed and wondering how on earth I would ever be able to provide for him. I mean, a 3-month old baby doesn’t wear the same size diapers as an 11-month old – not the same clothes – and what about high chairs…all these questions in my mind! Well, just a couple days before our fire, the grandmother had gone into the attic and got out her old high chair and cleaned it up…even though she knew they wouldn’t need it for a few more months!! Can you believe that! God did that! Then, we discovered that she also had diapers and clothes that fit our baby too!!! I really couldn’t believe how God was providing for us – and so QUICKLY and so specifically! It was truly a miracle to me. At about 5 a.m. the firemen had left and the house was almost completely destroyed. The garage was the only thing still in tact really. My husband and I laid in bed trying to sleep. Then I realized something. I remembered that had read a verse in the Bible together and prayed before going to sleep. It was about Moses and the Israelites. They spent 40 years in the desert. But provided them with everything they needed. The verse actually pointed out that God did not allow their SHOES or CLOTHES to wear out for that whole 40 years! When we read that, we were both in awe that God could do something like that. But now, we realized, God had just done the same thing for us. Two hours later, we got up. And in the course of those two short hours, all the neighbors had gotten together and brought us bag after bag of “stuff.” They’d thought of everything we could possibly need. Some of it was brand new – some was used. But these people were total strangers to us, and they got up out of bed and went shopping or went through their own belongings and gave it to us instead of sleeping. I was so overwhelmed by their kindness and generosity! Well, I eventually got to shower. They’d given me so much stuff…I had clothes, make-up, hairbrushes and a hairdryer, etc. You name it, I had it…except ONE thing…a BRA! J Well, because I was a little embarrassed about walking around all those people with no bra on, I lingered in the bathroom a while…until I realized I was just going to have to swallow my pride and go out there anyhow. Well, I took no more than 10 steps outside that bathroom when a woman came up to me with a huge basket of clothes in her arms and she said, “Tina, here are some more clothes. There are pants, shirts, all kinds of stuff. Oh! And there’s also a bra!” I couldn’t believe it! But if you’re anything like me, when I go to the store to buy a bra it takes FOREVER to find on that fits right. So, I was skeptical…again. As you might have guessed, though, it fit perfectly! I couldn’t believe God even CARED about that…about something so small! I realized then what people mean when they say God is “sovereign.” It means He is all powerful – not just over the HUGE things in life (like saving your life from a fire, just in the nick of time), but also in the very tiniest little details too!
Well, eventually there came a time later that day when my husband (again the orders of the firemen) went into the house (what was left of it) to see if there was anything that could be salvaged. The firemen had asked us if there was anything of value the night before. They were going to look for it if so. Well, I had a jewelry box in our bedroom. Now, I didn’t have anything of real monetary value, but I had a couple of rings my grandmother had given me that meant a lot to me. So, the firemen had looked – but couldn’t find it. Then the next day, my husband looked twice and couldn’t find it. Just before going in for the last time, he told me that if he didn’t find it this time, I’d just have to accept that it was gone. He was in there quite a while. When he came out, he did not have my jewelry box. But he did have something else with him. It was a big moving box. You won’t believe the story behind that box. See, all of our living room furniture had been in a bedroom in the house so we wouldn’t have to put it in storage. Well, Chris (my husband) went in that room. He found that all the furniture had burned up completely – including the TV and computer. But on the floor in the middle of the room was a backpack with all of our important paper work necessary for building our house. If it had burned up, we couldn’t have built our house! But it DID NOT burn! Then Chris looked around and found that big moving box. Inside that box was all of our family photos and all of the candles from our wedding! Those candles weren’t even MELTED and the pictures did not burn! We all know paper burns…but God saved these things for us! He taught me a huge lesson through that. I realized that THINGS are not my real treasure. God is my greatest treasure – and my family is also my treasure. He’d saved my real treasure.
Something else that had a profound affect on me was the realization that I could have died! But that for some reason God had saved my life! Then I realized He wasn’t finished with me yet, you know? I realized that He still had a purpose for my life! That gave me so much hope and such a sense of purpose! I determined to serve Him for the rest of my life.

Friday, November 14, 2008

God Rested?

We know that God created the world in six days and then RESTED on the seventh day. I have always wondered, though, WHY DID GOD REST? WHAT DID HE DO WHEN HE WAS RESTING? Well, I think I may have found a clue...in Proverbs 8.
Jesus IS wisdom, and in Proverbs 8 He speaks in the first person. It's amazing! He describes having been with the Father before Creation. Then He describes what it was like creating the earth with His Father. In verses 30-31 He says, "Then I was the craftsman at his side. I was filled with delight day after day, rejoicing always in his presence, rejoicing in his whole world..." But the CLUE is in the rest of verse 31: "...AND DELIGHTING IN MANKIND." So, my thoughts are just that after creating everything man needed in order to live on this earth, God's work ended with the crescendo of creating man. Then, He spent the next day DELIGHTING in man! I suspect He just wanted to spend some quality time with Adam and Eve! This was a very special time in history and eternity! He took time to delight in it.
We, too, are called to times of rest. We are called BY God to times of rest, and we are also called TO God in times of rest. Do we take this rest we so deeply need? He intended times of rest and enjoyment. Let's consider Isaiah 28:10-12. "For it is: Do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule; a little here, a little there...This is the resting place, let the weary rest...this is the place of repose, but they would not listen." God was speaking and reaching out to His weary people who were refusing to stop and rest! Verse 13 completes the picture, because it gives us a very clear understanding of what danger we face if we do not rest. So much is at stake!
"So then, the word of the Lord to them will become:
Do and do, do and do, rule on rule, rule on rule; a little here, a little there -
so that they will go and fall backward, be injured and snared and captured."
Oh, Lord, please don't let YOU or YOUR WORD ever become "just another thing on my to do list." I don't want this kind of captivity!
God's word should not be a burden to us, but a source of peace and satisfaction.
Our time in the Word should never by a DUTY but a time of enjoying God!
We need to delight in Him - delight in His Presence! He delights in intimate fellowship with us! If we are not delighting in Him, we need more than ever to take time for resting in His Presence...too much is at stake.

Soaring, Running, and Walking: Isaiah 40:29-31

"The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like ealges;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28b-31
This is such a familiar passage of Scripture to many of us, and there are so many wonderful treasures contained within it! When I read it again last week, though, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to see something I'd never noticed before.
The day before I read this, a friend mentioned to me that she'd been exercising regularly. And while she was pleased with the results, she was beginning to see a need to buy some smaller clothes. That's what God used to give me a new understanding of Isaiah 40! He's helping me understand that times of WAITING are exercise for the soul, just like working out is exercise for the body.
Doesn't it seem strange that exercise makes you SO tired? It takes so much energy...and leaves you exhausted when you're really pushing yourself. And YET it is actually strengthening you!? The same is true of the spiritual exercise of WAITING on the Lord. When we have to wait for the Lord, it can be excruciating! Those are the times we are so tempted to give up, because that's when we grow weary.
Isaiah 40:31 gives us two keys to persevering in times of waiting. First, we must HOPE IN THE LORD! This HOPE is one of God's provisions for seeing us through these times of waiting. But guess what, there's another provision In these tired, weary times God "renews" our strength! I was surprised to find out what kind of word picture this paints when seen from the original Hebrew connotations. The word "renew" is literally translated as "exchange" in the sense of changing clothes. As is often found in Scriputre, these clothes can symbolize strength and beauty. This means that waiting is an exercise that strengthens us if we put and keep our hope in God. It's one way He changes us to be stronger and more beautiful!
In our work out sessions with God-the ultimate Personal Trainer, there will be times of soaring, times of running, and times of walking.
•Eagles can soar simply because of how God designed them and their environment. It's really a matter of position for them, no work is involved. Similarly, we can rest in the fact that if we are His (a position we did not attain by any work of our own), then He has perfectly designed us and our circumstances for His glory and our good.
•There are also times of running as we wait. This is the kind of exercise that involves working as hard as you can with every single muscle in your body. We can do nothing apart from Him (John 15), so if we are to endure times of waiting that are this intense, we must draw our strength from our everlasting God!
•The other kind of exercise involved in waiting is walking. This is an activity that usually involves less intensity, but it's a long-term commitment. It means lasting through a long distance...because you are going somewhere! Walking is something we usually do with a particular purpose in mind! God has a purpose for His Kingdom and His child in times of waiting. Even when it looks like nothing is happening, God is working. He is always at work!
So, in times of waiting on the Lord, we can have HOPE because of
God's design as we soar
God's strength as we run, and
God's purpose as we walk with Him.
One day we will arrive before Him, dressed in garments fit for a king...strong and beautiful! And THAT will be worth the wait. HE is worth the wait, because HE IS WORTHY!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Fall: Harvest Time

I've already written so much about why fall time means so much to me. But I'm just now getting to my favorite part! If you read my post about being a scarecrow, you may remember around the feet of my life-sized scarecrow are pumpkins and leaves. Specifically, there are six pumpkins - one for each member of our family. Let me share with you what God was teaching me the year I bought those pumpkins.
It was my first 'fall' as a mother of four. I was definitely still adjusting. There were days I really wondered if we were going to make it! I stayed so busy taking care of my children, that there was very little - if any - time for anything else. I never thought showers could become a matter of prayer and fasting! Seriously, I felt like I was drowning. I was working as hard as I could to stay afloat - hoping my children were not sinking right along with me. And every day seemed to be a repeat of the day before....for months at a time! So often I wondered if we were even getting anywhere! It truly felt like I was just spinning my wheels - squealin' those babies!!! - but not budging a fraction of an inch! I felt like it was all in vain, and that's a dangerous feeling for me.
In the midst of this, God reminded me of Galatians 6:9:

"Let us not become wary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will reap a harvest
if we do not give up."
Oh! There's a harvest!? Oh, how I'd lost sight of that fact! I had completely forgotten WHY I was doing WHAT I was doing! I was doing this to serve my God Who'd not given up on me. And He was now giving me an opportunity to plant seeds in the lives of four precious little people! God knew I was weary - He acknowledged that it wasn't easy. But He encouraged me with the reminder of how important my job really was! It most certainly was NOT in vain! A harvest was at stake! I went back to read more of Galatians 6 - and I was so thrilled to find the Harvest Principle (or the Law of the Harvest)! I bet you're familiar with it already, but here's how I understand it:
You reap WHAT you sow.
You reap WHERE you sow.
You reap MORE THAN you sow.
You reap in a DIFFERENT SEASON.
We all readily see how this is true with physical seeds sown into the ground. If we sow a pumpkin seed, we will reap a pumpkin plant...right where we planted the seed. But the ONE pumpkin plant that results from the ONE seed will produce MANY pumpkins, each containing a multitude of seeds! We need only wait for the right season. I have often heard this passage used to remind us to be careful what kind of seeds we sow...and rightfully so. But I RARELY hear it used to encourage those who are diligently sowing seeds of truth! God encouraged me that day, that:
If I sow seeds in my children's lives, it's in their lives that I can expect a harvest.
If I sow seeds of righteousness in them, it's a harvest of righteousness I can expect.
If I sow as many seeds as I can, He'll divinely multiply my efforts!
If I sow the seeds NOW, a harvest will come....later...in a different season.
As encouraging as that was, I knew there was much hard work yet to be done. I knew I couldn't give up - the harvest had not yet come. That's where the scarecrow and the pumpkins on my hearth enter the picture. God showed me that if I wanted to see that harvest in my children's lives, I MUST LIVE A CRUCIFIED LIFE!!!! He reminded me of Jesus' words in John 12:24-25:
"...unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies,
it remains only a single seed.
But if it dies, it produces many seeds."
I still get weary sometimes. It's still not easy - but God has changed the way I see my job as a mother. It's so eternal. It's so full of purpose. Okay, I'm crying now - so I'll conclude with one of my favorite verses:
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him."
Psalm 126:5-6
I believe this Truth. I cling to this Truth with all of my heart. And these truths are what I'm reminded of every year when I pull out my fall decorations. You know, fall is just about over here in Alabama. But it just doesn't seem right to put my decorations back in the box yet - because for me, this season is not over yet. There's a harvest coming...

I am a scarecrow!

Every fall...well, every year, WEEKS before fall is even a thought in most people's minds...I pull out all of my many fall decorations and just GO CRAZY decorating my home! I have colorful leaves, pumpkins, scarecrows, candles, you name it! Last year I bought a scarecrow that is almost as big as I am! I love it! My favorite thing to do with this life-sized scarecrow is to place him in the middle of our hearth and place pumpkins and leaves all around his feet. He's the focal point of that part of the house! You might wonder why that means so much to me. Scarecrows never really carried any significant meaning for me until I began associating them with this verse:
"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live,
but the life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God
Who loved me and gave Himself for me."
Galatians 2:20
Now, when I look at my scarecrow - whose arms happen to outstretched - I remember my Savior and that He loved me enough to die for me. Then I picture myself crucified. Do I love HIM enough to be crucified? It brings Romans 6:2-7 to mind. It says that in Christ we have "died to sin," that we may live a new kind of life. My old self is "crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with..." That is TRUE living!